Descending into quietude
I have descended, not fallen, into a state of quietude these days since Christmas. This photo was taken on a mountain drive over New Years. I'm pondering, feeling into, tracing through my body, what it is to be me.
What of me is not true? What new layers can I find that I inherited? What habits are not really my truth?
Let's flip those questions: what parts of me are really me? What can I uncover of myself that I've not acknowledged before? What can I begin to live into that reflects the deepest self?
I'm not sure I'll find answers right away. As Rainer Maria Rilke advises, I live into the questions. There is a beauty to carrying the questions in one's heart,soul and mind. They become bellwethers for truth when it arises. Answers are overrated: certainty is not always the goal. Sometimes it comes though, and those are moments of grace.My Capricorn nature loves over-analysis and certainty. It's not often satisfied.
The fog rolling over the mountains serves it's purpose. My beloved Redwoods in the Northwest thrive on fog and its moisture. I'll take my cue from them.I don't really expect to look or act much different as the fog shifts and clears, but I know I will BE different. My daily prayer these days is one of softening and "outrageous openness" as Tosha Silver puts it. (Haven't read that book? You need to).
I desire to be open to change, soft to the gentle nudges and wisdom of spirit, tender with the souls of others and most compassionate with the inner child. She is one of the energies that lead me to my truest nature.
What might your inner child say to you today? What nourishment is present in the fog? Who is your soul yearning to be?
This tumultuous time on the earth is ripe for us to live into that deepest truth with courage. But first, we ask the questions and ask for grace. Open to guidance. Gently hold our process sacred.
Practice patience again and again.